Gay Funeral Reading

Ten days ago I was browsing my website – Funeral Readings – and realised that the missing category was LGBT. So I decided to rectify this, but to do this I needed to check out what readings were available to the LGBT community. I skipped into Google, and there, near the top was something called ‘Gay Funeral Reading’. Very kindly Google gives one a couple of lines as a taste of what follows, and as I read it, I realised the vocabulary and idiom sounded weirdly familiar… in fact I found myself squeaking out loud “this stuff sounds like me!” And it was. It was a piece of jolly doggerel that I had written… and then completely forgotten about — a gay funeral reading in every sense of the word. OK, I admit it’s not great poetry, but it is what it says…

Gay Funeral Reading

You just popped out to say goodbye
You didn’t bumble back
Today we’re sniffing in the rain
All dressed in blue and black

You said your life was lovely
You said you’d stay right here
Before you’d gone
You felt all wrong
Not straight, but pink and queer

The life and soul of the party
We’ll miss your silly ways
But it’s not the time
To read a bum rhyme
To cheer-up some snivelling gays

And as for styles in blue and black
They’re not exactly cheeky
Some friends look strange,
Others deranged
And others downright geeky

You might as well stay up there
It’s not as if we mind
You’ll share camp jokes
With holy folks
While we all stay behind