March 9th was Covid Reflection Day. This talk was given at an Iftar Dinner at the Brighton Centre last night.It was much shorter than I would have liked, but it certainly made us all think.
The pandemic revealed that Her Majesty’s Government at the time of Covid 19 failed to tackle so many issues… including the impact of isolation on mental health and the funding of the NHS. By contrast Brighton and Hove’s Council in 2020, under the leadership of Nancy Platts tackled the unknown dangers of the Pandemic with real purpose and commitment, and to this effect our city was truly blessed.
My name is Anthea Ballam and I am an Interfaith Minister and the Chair of the Interfaith Contact Group of Brighton and Hove. The Interfaith Contact Group (IFCG) brings people of faith and none together in friendship and harmony working closely with faith groups.
But before we go any further, I would just like to ask if we can set aside a brief moment of silence to honour the 550 people who died of Covid in Brighton and Hove, the 850 health and social care workers that died in the UK, the 115,000 health workers who died worldwide and the 7,010, 681 people who died worldwide. Just a moment of silence….
I would like to focus on the consequences of isolation, and what the people of faith in our city did to alleviate the problems faced by lonely neighbours, friends and even strangers. The mental health damage from the pandemic was terrible. To understand this let’s think about prison. The worst punishment levelled at anyone who transgresses in prison is solitary confinement, and this is given to a prisoner for a week or two at most. Good people of all ages that lived alone during the pandemic suffered solitary confinement for months and months. The mental health consequences were dreadful. This hardly bears thinking about… nor do the activities of our Government at the time. Isolation and long Covid were two of the worst legacies of Covid 19.
The faith groups, and I speak particularly of The Muslim, Christian and Jewish communities in our City, came forward in strength. So many good souls sought out neighbours, friends and total strangers who needed all sorts of things – food, medicines, medical prescriptions, shopping even companionship. Empty and difficult lives were improved beyond measure by contacts by phone, Zoom and Facetime. Kitchens in churches, mosques, synagogues and ethnic restaurants were used to prepare food parcels for people the length and breadth of our City, and for some people those that brought these food parcels to others were the only contact some people had for days. The old, infirm, poor and young all benefited from the generosity of those who offered their services for nothing.
For the first time in 800 years, places of worship were closed because of Covid. For some this was a terrible loss. It is a known fact that those that visit places of worship regularly are physically and mentally stronger than those that don’t. Closing Mosques, Churches, Synagogues and Temples was a devastating move that made the isolation of many people a dreadful prospect.
In support of those who couldn’t attend their places of worship The Interfaith Contact Group launched a weekly on-line publication called Words of Connection. These readings were themed, around seasons, ideas and the pandemic itself, and the prayers and poems were truly interfaith, so that people across the City, including ambulance drivers and health workers with or without faith, could find some kind of spiritual nourishment on a regular basis. After a while these readings became part of the lives of people across the UK, as well.
Many of us couldn’t attend funerals or services of worship for loved ones, and this was another cruelty; here again our City rose to the occasion. On the 17th of October 2021 we held a Day of Compassion. At the behest of the Mayor, Councillor Alan Robins, a memorial service for the 550 people that died of Covid in our City took place in the Brighton Dome. Others supported this initiative. The Jubilee Library provided space for a photographic exhibition of pictures taken during the pandemic. Heart-rending images of little children playing alone appeared alongside haunting views of empty streets. The Fabrica Art Gallery ran a creative workshop for children bereaved by the loss of a relative or friend during the pandemic. Several children who had lost grandparents and friends benefited greatly from this.
And if you are interested you can discover more about the heroism of the people of Brighton and Hove at that sad time; just check out the IFCG’s film Light in the Lockdown. A shortened film of the Day of Compassion Service is also available.
Ten days ago I was browsing my website – Funeral Readings – and realised that the missing category was LGBT. So I decided to rectify this, but to do this I needed to check out what readings were available to the LGBT community. I skipped into Google, and there, near the top was something called ‘Gay Funeral Reading’. Very kindly Google gives one a couple of lines as a taste of what follows, and as I read it, I realised the vocabulary and idiom sounded weirdly familiar… in fact I found myself squeaking out loud “this stuff sounds like me!” And it was. It was a piece of jolly doggerel that I had written… and then completely forgotten about — a gay funeral reading in every sense of the word. OK, I admit it’s not great poetry, but it is what it says…
Gay Funeral Reading
You just popped out to say goodbye You didn’t bumble back Today we’re sniffing in the rain All dressed in blue and black
You said your life was lovely You said you’d stay right here Before you’d gone You felt all wrong Not straight, but pink and queer
The life and soul of the party We’ll miss your silly ways But it’s not the time To read a bum rhyme To cheer-up some snivelling gays
And as for styles in blue and black They’re not exactly cheeky Some friends look strange, Others deranged And others downright geeky
You might as well stay up there It’s not as if we mind You’ll share camp jokes With holy folks While we all stay behind
When we say ‘Mum’ it means something so different from ‘mother’. A mum is someone special, someone close to the heart. Bearing this in mind I had to write a funeral reading for a special mum, a mum above all others. I originally wrote this a couple of years ago, but I had to think about it all over again… and here it is:
I tend to write for purpose. It’s a hangover from my past when I worked as a journalist and copywriter. This prayer was written for a Winter Vigil. It pays homage to the spirit of the Tao and Winter.
We give thanks for your mystery Season of the North
When you triumph We slam the door, Turning against Your howling winds
At night we dream of peace When clouds bear us far away Beyond the soundless snowfall
But when the door is opened We must accept darkness Brutal hunger, burning cold Another world out there
Tucked away We sit beside the fire Watch the dancing flames Tell tales of summer
Those memories Flashes of laughter Moments of sharing Food, light and warmth Are all part of the season
And so We give thanks From the heart For the understanding The mystery The heat and cold Of winter
On October 15th The Interfaith Contact Group of Brighton and Hove held a peace vigil. It proved to be a beautiful and sad moment of peace: all sorts of loving messages of peace, and even songs were shared, along with long silences and candle lighting. I read a prayer, entitled The Four Points Peace Prayer, but it was not my heartfelt choice. The one I wanted to read was the following, which is called Peace Prayer in Time of War, but it seemed to me to be far too angry to read in a peace vigil, where loving calm prevails. But this remains the better prayer… even if it is angry.
Join me in prayer… In a country lane Where bees visit sleepy lavender The crooning blackbird is pitch perfect And the leaves are twirling in the breeze
Join me in prayer In a laboratory Where the efficiency of a cluster bomb Is statistically evaluated The fruits of its achievements Are found near our country lane Where we meet the ghosts of travellers Children, women and men Innocent, each and every one
Join me in prayer And let us say together Stop… Stop the machinery of war Those that make arms Those that use them Those that give orders to deploy them Stop them all
This is why we pray together… now
Join me in prayer For a world where peace Is utterly irresistible Where killing machines are an abomination Where you and I hear the sound of the wind The birdsong, the buzzing of bees in the lavender And we know in our hearts That our prayers have finally been answered
For the past eight years I have been doing a radio slot on Sunday mornings – a 60 second sermon. The themes have varied greatly, from miracles to uncertainty. Today, the 1st of September, it had to be about autumn… and here it is:
Today is officially the first day of autumn, an inspirational moment for people and poets alike. Autumn is a time of reflection and balance. On Sunday 22nd of September we’ll experience the autumn equinox – the moment when the sun is above the equator, and day and night will be of equal length. Thereafter night will become longer than day, and autumn will set-in for real. Then we too can also pause, reflect and rebalance.
Sussex has an abundance of the trees which flourished in the summer rain but will soon shed their leaves. Green leaves will turn to gold, orange and red…a glorious sight in our parks, streets and gardens. Autumn trees remind us that the aging process itself brings unexpected beauty and wisdom, for who can deny the mystical wisdom of trees and who can forget that trees are not only beautiful, they are the very lungs of our planet.
Sir David Attenborough said “ancient trees are precious. There is little else on Earth that plays host to such a rich community of life within a single living organism,” While the clergyman Henry Ward Beecher said “Of all mans’ works of art, a cathedral is the greatest. But a vast and majestic tree is greater than that.” Autumn and its trees are a sacred miracle that will bless us in the days to come.
The BBC Maestro Poetry Course is great fun. It was created by the great Carol Ann Duffy. Not only does it remind one that the BBC is a seriously good thing, but even more wonderful, it encourages one to write poetry in a structured way. The first chapter dealt with memories.
Tonight we have a ‘friendship meeting’ about Work and Rest at the Baha’i Centre. For some strange reason I always associate rest — contemplative rest with looking up at the clouds. It is as if the clouds talk to us, and remind us of the wisdom of rest, peace and the beauty of meditation.
There is a beauty in rest The moment one stops Looks at the sky The wise clouds Floating overhead That look down On our struggles
There is a perfection in rest An opportunity To take stock To count one’s breaths Connect with the heart Give peace to the mind
There is a kindness in rest A healing touch The gentle reminder That says “All that chaos All those demands Places to go Things to do Unimportant ideas Matters to attend to…
Let them go Drift away Like the clouds The wise clouds Floating overhead That look down On our struggles.”
Yes please, wake up and feel joy… but if you feel you can’t find joy… there are tricks and messages to your deepest self… that can make it happen.
This is my recipe for waking up to joy. First of all check in. It’s morning, possibly… and you have just woken up. Time to ask yourself the question “Do I feel joyful?” You have two choices here… if the answer is ‘yes!’ just bask in joy. Lie there and accept the beauty of yourself, the feeling that you feel good about yourself, the ceiling, the sky, the clouds, the weather… above all things the world. Let joy pour down on you like the very best and most exquisite sunshine. Simply bath yourself in a cloud of joy that stays with you for the rest of the day.
But if you don’t feel joyful, try the dialogue game. OK… you don’t feel joyful, but part of you, tucked away like an old friend has known how to be joyful at other times. We don’t talk about this often, but human beings have access to just about every emotion in the book – anger, fear, sorrow, wisdom, depression, uncertainty, enthusiasm, conviction – we have the lot. So go into the library of your soul, or the hotel of your dreams or wherever you might find a corner of yourself, and seek out the part of you that has known joy in the past. Remember joy. It might have been when you were a kid, or having a good time with friends, it might have been when you were walking through a beautiful garden, or lying in the sunshine on the most exquisite beach; maybe you were sitting on a mountainside or swimming in clear beautiful water but somewhere you will find that piece of yourself when you felt joy… joy just for you, you and only you. Look for that spark – that spirit of joy. Relax and look for the voice and the feeling of joy. It’s all about you.
The voice of joy will love you. Give that imaginary voice of joy a chance to talk to you. Give it a chance to remind you that you do know how to feel joy, you have felt joy before, and you will find and hold and keep joy in your life again… in fact you are asking to have it now.
Lie back and allow yourself to let joy in. If you are in pain, ask the pain to move aside to let joy in. If you are depressed, just push aside any sad or bad feelings… maybe you will even see yourself pushing the those feelings aside… allowing the fresh air, the sunshine and the radiance to enter your life.
I may not even know you. But I do believe that waking up to joy, the feeling of goodwill about oneself and others around one (that includes compassion for oneself and others around one)… is one of the most powerful tonics ever. Joy in the heart is a loving gift for the mind and the spirit; it needs to be taken regularly. If you are able to remember joy… you can experience joy and also express joy… right now. Knowing joy you can make the world around you and for those around you such a beautiful place, a place to be shared.
