Gay Funeral Reading

Ten days ago I was browsing my website – Funeral Readings – and realised that the missing category was LGBT. So I decided to rectify this, but to do this I needed to check out what readings were available to the LGBT community. I skipped into Google, and there, near the top was something called ‘Gay Funeral Reading’. Very kindly Google gives one a couple of lines as a taste of what follows, and as I read it, I realised the vocabulary and idiom sounded weirdly familiar… in fact I found myself squeaking out loud “this stuff sounds like me!” And it was. It was a piece of jolly doggerel that I had written… and then completely forgotten about — a gay funeral reading in every sense of the word. OK, I admit it’s not great poetry, but it is what it says…

Gay Funeral Reading

You just popped out to say goodbye
You didn’t bumble back
Today we’re sniffing in the rain
All dressed in blue and black

You said your life was lovely
You said you’d stay right here
Before you’d gone
You felt all wrong
Not straight, but pink and queer

The life and soul of the party
We’ll miss your silly ways
But it’s not the time
To read a bum rhyme
To cheer-up some snivelling gays

And as for styles in blue and black
They’re not exactly cheeky
Some friends look strange,
Others deranged
And others downright geeky

You might as well stay up there
It’s not as if we mind
You’ll share camp jokes
With holy folks
While we all stay behind

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Funeral Reading for a Mum

When we say ‘Mum’ it means something so different from ‘mother’. A mum is someone special, someone close to the heart. Bearing this in mind I had to write a funeral reading for a special mum, a mum above all others. I originally wrote this a couple of years ago, but I had to think about it all over again… and here it is:

A Blessing for Mum

Is there anything
Anything… anywhere
Quite like a perfect Mum?
Not that I know of

Is there anyone
Anywhere
We would rather bless today?
 No way

My Mum… our Mum
Was the crème de la crème
The elite on the street
The best of the best

Feeding us –
Caring for us –
Laughing at us –
Yelling and supporting us 

She was the ultimate
Top-notch-mother-superior
In every way
The best of the best

Which is why
We bless her and love her
And cherish her
In a thousand ways

You made us
What we are 
You were the best of the best

Thank you, Mum

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A Blessing for the Year End

Think of the life and lives
That strolled through those days
Captured in the book
Retold in 12 months

There was one memory
Surprising, kind or sweet –
A good spark
Destined to light the future

And you can kindle it
Blow gently on the flame
Shelter it, wish it well
So we can warm ourselves
With that thought.

Good or bad
Happy or sad
Seek and find
A thought jewel
A radiant memory

There is always a bookmark
For the page
That takes you
To that recollection

Such joyful messages
Reside in the soul

This is why
We look ahead
Face the unknown
And offer love 
And heartfelt thanks
At the end of the year
Blessing ourselves and the past year

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Interfaith Winter Prayer

I tend to write for purpose. It’s a hangover from my past when I worked as a journalist and copywriter. This prayer was written for a Winter Vigil. It pays homage to the spirit of the Tao and Winter.

We give thanks for your mystery
Season of the North

When you triumph
We slam the door,
Turning against
Your howling winds

At night we dream of peace
When clouds bear us far away
Beyond the soundless snowfall

But when the door is opened
We must accept darkness
Brutal hunger, burning cold
Another world out there

Tucked away
We sit beside the fire
Watch the dancing flames
Tell tales of summer

Those memories
Flashes of laughter
Moments of sharing
Food, light and warmth
Are all part of the season

And so
We give thanks
From the heart
For the understanding
The mystery
The heat and cold
Of winter

Thank you

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Angry Peace Prayer

On October 15th The Interfaith Contact Group of Brighton and Hove held a peace vigil. It proved to be a beautiful and sad moment of peace: all sorts of loving messages of peace, and even songs were shared, along with long silences and candle lighting. I read a prayer, entitled The Four Points Peace Prayer, but it was not my heartfelt choice. The one I wanted to read was the following, which is called Peace Prayer in Time of War, but it seemed to me to be far too angry to read in a peace vigil, where loving calm prevails. But this remains the better prayer… even if it is angry.

Join me in prayer…
In a country lane
Where bees visit sleepy lavender
The crooning blackbird is pitch perfect
And the leaves are twirling in the breeze

Join me in prayer
In a laboratory
Where the efficiency of a cluster bomb
Is statistically evaluated
The fruits of its achievements
Are found near our country lane
Where we meet the ghosts of travellers
Children, women and men
Innocent, each and every one

Join me in prayer
And let us say together
Stop…
Stop the machinery of war
Those that make arms
Those that use them
Those that give orders to deploy them
Stop them all

This is why we pray together… now

Join me in prayer
For a world where peace
Is utterly irresistible
Where killing machines are an abomination
Where you and I hear the sound of the wind
The birdsong, the buzzing of bees in the lavender
And we know in our hearts
That our prayers have finally been answered

Thank you

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Autumn Inspiration

For the past eight years I have been doing a radio slot on Sunday mornings – a 60 second sermon. The themes have varied greatly, from miracles to uncertainty. Today, the 1st of September, it had to be about autumn… and here it is:

Today is officially the first day of autumn, an inspirational moment for people and poets alike. Autumn is a time of reflection and balance. On Sunday 22nd of September we’ll experience the autumn equinox – the moment when the sun is above the equator, and day and night will be of equal length. Thereafter night will become longer than day, and autumn will set-in for real. Then we too can also pause, reflect and rebalance.

Sussex has an abundance of the trees which flourished in the summer rain but will soon shed their leaves. Green leaves will turn to gold, orange and red…a glorious sight in our parks, streets and gardens. Autumn trees remind us that the aging process itself brings unexpected beauty and wisdom, for who can deny the mystical wisdom of trees and who can forget that trees are not only beautiful, they are the very lungs of our planet. 

Sir David Attenborough said “ancient trees are precious. There is little else on Earth that plays host to such a rich community of life within a single living organism,” While the clergyman Henry Ward Beecher said “Of all mans’ works of art, a cathedral is the greatest. But a vast and majestic tree is greater than that.” Autumn and its trees are a sacred miracle that will bless us in the days to come.

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The BBC Poetry Course

The BBC Maestro Poetry Course is great fun. It was created by the great Carol Ann Duffy. Not only does it remind one that the BBC is a seriously good thing, but even more wonderful, it encourages one to write poetry in a structured way. The first chapter dealt with memories.

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Rest and Peace

Tonight we have a ‘friendship meeting’ about Work and Rest at the Baha’i Centre. For some strange reason I always associate rest — contemplative rest with looking up at the clouds. It is as if the clouds talk to us, and remind us of the wisdom of rest, peace and the beauty of meditation.

There is a beauty in rest
The moment one stops
Looks at the sky
The wise clouds
Floating overhead
That look down
On our struggles

There is a perfection in rest
An opportunity
To take stock
To count one’s breaths
Connect with the heart
Give peace to the mind

There is a kindness in rest
A healing touch
The gentle reminder
That says
“All that chaos
All those demands
Places to go
Things to do
Unimportant ideas
Matters to attend to…

Let them go
Drift away
Like the clouds
The wise clouds
Floating overhead
That look down
On our struggles.”

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Wake up to Joy… A Recipe for the Spirit

Yes please, wake up and feel joy… but if you feel you can’t find joy… there are tricks and messages to your deepest self… that can make it happen.

This is my recipe for waking up to joy. First of all check in. It’s morning, possibly… and you have just woken up. Time to ask yourself the question “Do I feel joyful?” You have two choices here… if the answer is ‘yes!’ just bask in joy. Lie there and accept the beauty of yourself, the feeling that you feel good about yourself, the ceiling, the sky, the clouds, the weather… above all things the world. Let joy pour down on you like the very best and most exquisite sunshine. Simply bath yourself in a cloud of joy that stays with you for the rest of the day.

But if you don’t feel joyful, try the dialogue game. OK… you don’t feel joyful, but part of you, tucked away like an old friend has known how to be joyful at other times. We don’t talk about this often, but human beings have access to just about every emotion in the book – anger, fear, sorrow, wisdom, depression, uncertainty, enthusiasm, conviction – we have the lot. So go into the library of your soul, or the hotel of your dreams or wherever you might find a corner of yourself, and seek out the part of you that has known joy in the past. Remember joy. It might have been when you were a kid, or having a good time with friends, it might have been when you were walking through a beautiful garden, or lying in the sunshine on the most exquisite beach; maybe you were sitting on a mountainside or swimming in clear beautiful water but somewhere you will find that piece of yourself when you felt joy… joy just for you, you and only you. Look for that spark – that spirit of joy. Relax and look for the voice and the feeling of joy. It’s all about you.

The voice of joy will love you. Give that imaginary voice of joy a chance to talk to you. Give it a chance to remind you that you do know how to feel joy, you have felt joy before, and you will find and hold and keep joy in your life again… in fact you are asking to have it now.

Lie back and allow yourself to let joy in. If you are in pain, ask the pain to move aside to let joy in. If you are depressed, just push aside any sad or bad feelings… maybe you will even see yourself pushing the those feelings aside… allowing the fresh air, the sunshine and the radiance to enter your life.

I may not even know you. But I do believe that waking up to joy, the feeling of goodwill about oneself and others around one (that includes compassion for oneself and others around one)… is one of the most powerful tonics ever. Joy in the heart is a loving gift for the mind and the spirit; it needs to be taken regularly. If you are able to remember joy… you can experience joy and also express joy… right now. Knowing joy you can make the world around you and for those around you such a beautiful place, a place to be shared.

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Handwriting and the Writer

I have always loved handwriting. I have endless notebooks that open with phrases like “I love this pen, but this other one is much less fun…” and “What’s wrong with this bloody pencil? It won’t do as it’s told!”

When I went to school I took great care to make my handwriting as aesthetically pleasing as possible. I thought I had succeeded until Miss Gilson told me that the lower loops on my ‘g’s, my ‘y’s and my ‘p’s were ridiculous and unnecessary. I was 12. I felt deeply hurt, and a zillion years later I still feel slightly miffed about this, which is hardly wise.

My handwriting was not like anyone’s in my family; both my father and my sister had strangely similar writing – orderly, controlled and elegant. I assumed that their handwriting was an expression of their true selves — they were both writers and intellectuals, and that controlled handwriting was an expression of their literacy. Tragically, when my sister was dying her handwriting changed beyond recognition. She died around my birthday, and I had to destroy all the dear little cards and notes she struggled to write at the time; they were nothing like her usual elegant script — they just served as a horrible reminder of the cruelty of her illness.

For most of my life I have made my living as a writer, starting out as a copywriter for silly products, books, technology products and later for lawyers. At various points in my life I worked as a journalist employed by several weekly papers and later as a freelance writer. When I became an interfaith minister, I started to write ceremonies – funerals, weddings, services and baby blessings. I also wrote meditations, but the great bulk of the writing done since ordination in 2007 has been prayers. I have a website of funeral readings and another called prayers for everyone.

For many years I never, ever thought of myself as a writer, and I suspect this was because I was always comparing myself to my father and my sister, and reckoned that only clever people were writers. How naïve I was… there are numerous twerps out there who reckon they are writers… and indeed they are… and they are absolutely dire.

One day I had a Damascene moment. After a serious illness I left London and my company and decided to return to freelance writing. I moved to Brighton, and felt so much more free as I wandered around the South Coast without the responsibilities of old. One weekend my wanderings took me to a craft fair. In the corner was a gentleman with a Graphology stall; he was in the process of packing things up. I asked the graphologist to do an assessment of my handwriting. He was in a hurry to go home, and didn’t seem to care that I only had twenty quid on me. With some impatience he agreed to take the money and do a quick appraisal. He told me to write down a phrase like ‘the quick brown fox…’ and also a few words of my choice. Then he sat back, and looked at my handwriting and said ‘You’re a writer.’ That’s all he said. He had seen my handwriting and he knew what I was… and in that moment I realised that he had it right. I am a writer. A prolific one… and an interfaith minister sometimes as well. 

Sometimes it takes somebody else to tell you who you are… somebody in this case who didn’t give a fig but just wanted to go home. 

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